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Misery Online Class + MCO

Day by day, I started feeling very bored in the lockdown cause spending all day at home. I admit that I am home person but staying at home without going out for a long time and interacting with friends face-to-face makes me miserable. For the first time ever, I feel lonely. Yes, before this I enjoyed being alone but I never feel lonely. It's changed since the COVID-19. For a few months, I am so happy cause I think it is best to stay home without having interact with others, but after that my mind started to create misery. Where I began to overthink every little things and "they" will interfere with my daily life. How I wish the MCO could be lifted as soon as possible so that I can go out, meet my friends and have a drink with them.

Things are getting worse when my university wants to continue our semester with Open and Distance Learning (ODL). At first, I thought I could accept to study online but it turns out I couldn't. FML. Everything goes wrong. I can't focus on studying, too many distraction especially my bed bahaha, and I think the surrounding can be one of the reasons too. Untill now, I don't remember what I learned hahahaha. Well it can be the reason why I'm so stress other than too much workload.

My mind is messed up amidst this pandemic, so I decided to overcome all of these so I can life peacefully without stress all the time. I deactive social media cause it make my mind miserable as I began to compare myself with others and also I started to "hear" the silly quotes rather than myself. So, I take a step back. Turns out this method can reduce the useless thoughts but my stress is still thereeeee. FML again.

The last thing I did was, I wrote my journal. How's my day, what activities I do during that day, how I feel, what I want to overcome, what is my thought, how to get better life, how to ... and the list go on. I was surprised because it is effective to reduce my stress. When I started writing, I could identify the cause of my stress so that I can cope them. :) It feels like the burden is gone. Express problems to myself - talking to myself. Right now, my mind is in the right place and I'm happy eventhough I'm still in the ODL mode, too much work and feel lonely. Ahahahaha :P


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